When your relationship gets serious, your behavior has to change a little bit. It has to change because now you are more invested emotionally into the situation. You have to be considerate of each other’s feelings. Now it’s not just about you or I anymore, it’s about “us” and “we”. Look, this behavior doesn’t magically happen when you become committed, it takes time to adjust. And it takes a concious effort. Everybody has some baggage with them, wouldn’t you agree? So with that in mind, relationships develop by trial and error. For example, take a man who has been single for a few years and has not had to be concerned about someone elses feelings, when he finally gets into one he has developed these habits that now he has to adjust or completely break. The key is proper communication. Communication is an issue that I have had all my life, but I am committed to correcting that. That is the only way that any of my relationships will work. I have been having conversations with various friends about the relationship subject for years, this is why I consider myself a “love guru” (LOL). Relationships start out as feelings that turn into love (btw, I am not using the term “fall in love” ever again. Who wants to fall into anything??? You might break a leg or something! Lol) and in order to maintain that love you have to be considerate of others. For example, what if you’re girl went out and told you that she was going to be home at a certain time or she wasn’t going to get drunk but didn’t show up until 8am and was twisted when she got there? And then wasn’t 100% truthful about where she was coming from and you knew that, how would that make you feel? Wouldn’t it have been so much easier to tell her homies, “Hey, I’m heading out of here. Got to get home” or tell you “Hey, I am hanging out with the girls. We are gonna hit up a few spots. I might spend the night at my girl’s house. We might be out all night.”? Sure you might be mad that she is out all night but at least you know where she is and she didn’t feel the need to stretch the truth or omit certain things from the story. We put so much pressure on ourselves unnecessarily to protect peoples feelings when the truth is you’re making it worse by not telling the complete truth. In building Love, there will be hicups, none of us are perfect & all of us will dissapoint the other person at some point. But the best advice I can give you is when you are out and about recognize that you are representing your relationship. You’re representing your man or woman. In most cases, especially when you are married, you have to think “Would my girl be upset about my behavior right now?” and if the answer is yes, then you have a choice to do right or be selfish. Let’s choose to do right at least 90% of the time, geez!
“Say what you mean, and mean what you say. It’s just that simple.”
God. Love. Life. Music. Exposed.
-BMC, The Love Guru.