Thoughts: Wanting someone when they’re taken…


Why is it when it appears that you might be dating someone seriously, everyone comes out of the woodworks?

I’ll tell you why:

It’s the age old tale of the chase. The challenge. If you are not a challenge then men & women alike will always feel like they can have you when they want you until they make a decision. But what happens if the person that you have had waiting meets someone, really falls for them, and they make the decision before you do? Then all of sudden they aren’t thinking about those 3 days you didn’t call them. They were talking to their new interest. All of sudden they aren’t thinking about the times they emailed/bbm’d you and you didn’t reply. They are bbm’ing their new interest. All of sudden they aren’t thinking about the major event in their life they really wanted you to share with them. They shared it with their new interest. All of a sudden the more time they spend with their new interest, the less they are thinking about you. And then you start to realize that he or she isn’t hitting you like they used to. You start thinking, “Maybe I am losing the control I had over this person. Wait, I am not ready to make a decision but I don’t want this person dating anyone seriously! Oh No! What do I do???” And of course, if you have options most people are selfish and want to keep those options and relinquish them at their discretion. But like clockwork when a person is single and looking, you can’t find love no where but as soon as you get some sort of interest going, everybody you ever thought you wanted to date starts calling and sending you wild texts!

The answer is if you are really into your new interest, don’t fall for the banana in the tailpipe regarding the people coming out of the woodworks. But some people use the new interest as a tool to get who they were really trying to get in the begining but that can backfire. You know what they say be careful what you ask for, you just might get it. I know that this seems kind of random and all over the place, but I would love to know all of your opinions on this subject.

Holla at The GURU. I am in the studio working & drinking, so beware. Lol.



19 thoughts on “Thoughts: Wanting someone when they’re taken…


  2. I agree! I’m single right now..VERY single!!! My phone never rings with a man on the other end(besides my Dad and Bros) But the minute I find a boo(interest)… I already know! everybody will start coming back! Too late

  3. I agree with you on everything you said! It is crazy that it happens this way all the time.In my mind I am thinking that it is the law of reaping and sowing, You sow into someone’s life that doesnt give you the time or day and then all of a sudden you are reaping a harvest of options but then comes the test of seeing and believing in that one person that you have desired for so long, Now are you going to pass or fail, and most fail because they want it all, so now they are back at square one and then the challenges begin again, i also think that some just like the chase and after the chase, the thrill is gone..So this is a never ending saga, it just goes on and on from both parties..Finally if you find that special someone keep him or her and LIVE THE LIFE of an answered prayer from GOD..

  4. This is the story of my life lol. Reading this is making me think of what I’ve went through not too long ago. I stayed single for awhile because I feared of getting hurt again. The last guy I was with was a jerk. We were seeing each other for 2 months then out of the blue he tells me that he was tryna get serious with this other girl. It hurt so bad because I didn’t see it coming and whenever we were together, he didn’t show any signs that there was something wrong. I’ve been in this situation too many times and don’t wanna go through it again. So now I’m single and I’m kinda afraid to give my heart to someone at this point.

  5. well it all started one day when i woke up and then i found my self single or nine years but i say life goes on well my last relationship was like hell i thought everything i was doing was right but i found out the hard way 1. you can’t take care of a man 2. please don’t think famliy wan’t do you end it was crazy when i saw him f@k my siter and all i have done for him but like i said i woke up single and free but my heart was bleeding mmm and guess what that ass hole what’s me back and i don’t wan’t him i fill waiting is the only way so jan 2009 will be ten years i’m a lil tired of being single but who do i trust yeah and i move here to atl mmm omg

  6. I think it is simple, we all want what we cannot have. I have been in a relationship for 11 years now…and I always did the right things, but he did not. So now….that he wants to act completely right…I am getting fed up. I find anything to complain about, because I KNOW that he is not going anywhere. So, now that I have him the way that I wanted him when he was acting a fool…I am not sure that I even want him anymore. But…I will NOT see him with the next person. Kind of like the “Ring The Alarm” song!!!

    That is the selfishness in me…not wanting to allow anyone else to reap the benefits of the lessons that I had to teach over the course.of our reltionship. But at the same time…I am sacrificing my hapiness to be selfish. So…at what cost do I LIG it…and move on? Then…when I think about moving on…will it just be to prove to him that I too, can find someone else and inflict the pain that I went through? And then if he moves on, becasue I moved on…will I be able to handle it, or will I want him then, becasue I will not be able to have him?

    It is a CRAZY thing..the cat and mouse. Like you said in your post…”be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.” So when you finally get what you have been asking for, waay after you asked for it…what do you do if you do not even know if you want it?

  7. Totally feel you and have been in a couple of different situations like that. Most recently I was no longer seeing someone…and as soon as they saw me w/ someone else, they came calling and said they wanted to be with me. As time went on I found they really weren’t ready, they still hadn’t figured out what they wanted BUT didn’t want me to be with anyone else. As you said, I will NEVER fall for the banana in the tailpipe again! Very sad and selfish.

  8. This is exactly what im goin through right now i swear . why does it work this way. So i was talkin to Tony for a while i started to really like him things were goin good then he started trippn an started to not really call anymore or anything like that. Then chris came along. I really liked tony but chris was actually paying attention you know so subconsciously i started talkin to chris hopin that tony would notice that i wasn’t callin or textn anymore but i still liked chris too. It worked Tony started to call more and then i was faced with the decision to decide between Tony and Chris. This is where my plan backfired cuz i choose Tony. But once i started hangin with tony more and gettin all the attention i wanted from him i realized my feelings had expired and i liked chris but by that time it was too late and chris had moved on…:-( soi def fee where your coming from its crazy

  9. I’ll try not to be long winded… So my breaks down of relationships are this:

    Part 1

    1. The Hunt
    It’s the part where someone chases the other person in the relationship. Men are natural hunters so the like to do the hunting. When a woman is too available in the first stages of their relationship, it’s normal an unconscious turn off for a man.
    2. The Trophy
    This is the exciting part of obtaining someone after a sufficient hunt to win over their affection.
    3. The Relationship
    Is the part where you get to know your trophy. You know that you are heading towards love when you see none of their flaws. You are falling out of love when you see all their falls and can’t stand to see them chew.
    4. The departure
    It’s over..

  10. Part 2

    With that said let me tell you a story about the Hunter and the Deer.

    (Hunt) The hunter was a proud hunter. He and his buddies would get dressed in their new camouflage outfits and hunter gear. The hunter would load up in his trucks take all his new guns and knives. He’s on a mission… He lies in the grass and hangs in trees all to kill this deer… When he does all that and he finally gets his deer, he takes its head and places it over his fireplace. (Trophy) The same man will be in his truck one day and hit a deer. The same size, color and age of the other deer he has hanging up in his living room. He takes that deer and eats of the meat. But …their was no hunt so he does not take it home to hang up and show off to all his friends and family… lol

  11. Part 3

    Things change people change. Humans change their minds like the wind…
    However a person who values commitment will with stand the storms with the right person. Both the new interest and the old one can be completed wrong for you.
    Women and maybe men not sure, have the tendency to cling on to things that don’t exist.
    Ever person you know now and in the future has purpose.
    Sometimes you’re attracted to their purpose and not who they are… I repeat sometimes you’re attracted to their purpose and not who they are.
    Like BMC be carefully what you ask for you just might get it. So when you’re praying for him or her make sure you cover everything with God.
    How do you know if you’ve done that, that prayer should take at least 2 days…? LOL

  12. All i can really say is….Thank You Brain=-) (you helped me put some things in perspective. Ican’t wait for the BOOK & ALBUM=-)

  13. Interesting…My mother and grandmother taught me…you either piss or get off the pot. Time waits for no one and if you wait on it someone else is going to see what you don’t see. It is like that Jill Scott song “My Love”. I’m going with the guy who is interested. He will put in the work.

  14. something that is definitely true is the thing about looking for love. i’ve been searching for that SOMEONE in my life for a very long time but I didnt seem to find him. Then someone well at first THAT someone but now that THAT SOMEONE seems to fade found me and we’ve started dating and stuff. as soon as I was officially taken there were guys everywhere trying to get to know me , I was like WTF? Ive been searching all the time and know that Im with someone everyone wants something from me. And now I’m back to where I was almost two years ago: roaming around always looking down at all I see. But not finding anyone to be with, maybe I need to stop searching but it’s not easy especially when you want something that bad…

  15. You can’t give what you don’t have and whatever you do give, it often comes back to you multiplied. If you learn how to pray in the right way, you will attract the right mate for you. You attract the right mate by dwelling on the qualities and characteristics you admire in a woman & then God will bring you together in divine order. If you want to attract an honest, sincere, and loving partner in life, you must be honest, sincere & loving yourself. When you really believe you can have the type of woman you idealize, it is done unto you as you believe. To believe is to accept something as true. Accept your ideal companion now. Do not wonder how, why, or where you will meet the mate you are praying for. Trust implicitly your God. He has the know-how and you don’t have to assist him.

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